Where in the World did these Wedding Traditions Come From?

When it comes to weddings, we love us some traditions.  Everything seems to have a tradition: the diamond ring, the proposal, not seeing the bride before, saving the top of the cake, throwing the bouquet…..  But does anyone know WHY we do things this way and is it really important that we follow them?

The answer to both questions is a big fat NO.

Most people have no idea where these traditions came from and why we do them.  I once heard a story about a family that passed down a pot roast recipe where they cut off half the rest of the roast and set it on it’s side.  They did it this way without question for 4 generations.  Finally, the daughter asked her great-grandmother why they did this?  Did it make the roast cook quicker or softer?  The great-grandmother responded, “No dear.  I had to do that because the roast wouldn’t fit in my pan the regular way”.

Such is the way we follow wedding traditions in America.  We do it because it has always been done that way. I promise you, after you learn what you are about to read, you may look at your wedding differently.

Let’s get started.

  • Wedding dresses are white because of purity & virginity: NOPE!  This tradition started when Queen Victoria married Prince Albert.  She was such a popular Queen that it was a huge fashion choice that ultimately crossed the ocean to us.  I have watched as so many older women whisper, “she shouldn’t be wearing white” or “how dare she put color on her dress.  That’s just not right”.  Well, Grandma, you are wrong.  So many people judge others because of misunderstood traditions.  That could be said about so many other things in our society, but I digress…
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  • Engagements Rings Need to be a huge Diamond: Not at all true.  You don’t even need to get a ring to be engaged.  This has become commercialized so much it has become a part of the American psyche.  If you want to learn how this tradition REALLY got started, check out my blog post How Diamond Engagement Rings became one of the biggest scams in the Wedding Industry.  It is amazing that people still feel they have to buy a $4,000 diamond in order to say “I Do”.  No you don’t!
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  • The Bride & Groom Not Seeing Each Other Before the Ceremony: Today’s Brides think this tradition is so the Groom can be surprised by her beauty, collapse into tears and “all the feels!” That is not the case. This tradition is based on arranged marriages.  The Bride would enter fully veiled with a blusher over her face & the Groom would Not see his wife until he lifted the veil (and it was too late to run).  There is no real reason for the couple to NOT see each other before the ceremony.  Now they can do “First Looks” which is when they see each other & get great pictures.  They can touch, talk and kiss – not to mention going into the ceremony as a united front.  It helps make the day go more smoothly and and you get pictures over with quickly.  First looks are the way to go.
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  • You Have to have a full Bridal Party with Bridesmaids, Groomsmen & honor attendants, flower girls, ring bearers OH MY! Again, nope. Back in medieval times, marriage parties had their clansmen and ladies in waiting surrounding the couple in case of marauding tribes would come and try to kidnap the bride.  That’s why the guys stand with their sword side showing.  I kid you not.  Bridesmaids were made to look alike to confuse evil spirits so they couldn’t cause any unhappiness to the Bride.  The Groom was always to the left of the Bride so he could protect her from kidnapping soldiers. In this day and age, we use people who are important in our lives to stand up with us, but it is not crucial to have anyone with you.  As long as you have witnesses to the event, you are official.
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  • Saturdays are the best days for weddings: This tradition was started in medival times because it was bath day.  That’s also why they carried flowers (often with fragrant herbs) – to help them smell better and to ward of evil spirits.  Yummy.  These days it seems to be easier to have weddings on a weekend because of our work-week.  But marriages to do not have to be on a Saturday.  You can get married on a Monday and still have the same chance of success as if you got married on a Saturday.  But I do suggest bathing before :0).
  • You have to save the top of the cake, freeze it and eat it on your first anniversary or you will be cursed and everything will go to hell!  Not so!  Things may go to hell before your 1st anniversary :0).  Just kidding.  This tradition is just plain stupid and frankly, dangerous because you could get food poisoning.  You can wrap that cake up as perfectly as they tell you and it will still get freezer burned or worse.  This was originally done so you could eat the top of the cake at your first child’s Christening – which of course, you pushed out quick if you were a good wife.  Emily post was the one who suggested eating it on your first anniversary. You made it a year!  Go get yourself a fresh cake on your anniversary.  You deserve it.  In fact, a lot of cake bakers offer you a coupon for a free six inch cake on your anniversary.  Hey, my body is made by cake & I never turn a chance to eat it down.  However, I prefer fresh and I am sure you will too.  I’m 21 years into a Blissful Marriage so I am proof you can let this tradition go.
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  • Throwing the Bouquet & Garter: This tradition is basically to find the next couple that will be married – which we all know, rarely happens. In fact, single people are making it clear that they DO NOT like to be “singled” out and some don’t ever plan on being married.  This is an archaic ritual that people only do because it has been done for years.  Brides like to keep their bouquets now a days because they cost a fortune, hence toss bouquets.  Some Brides don’t like the idea of the Groom disappearing up her dress in front of all their family and friends, and most groomsmen want to catch the garter like they want to catch the plague.  Actually, people used to cut pieces from the Bride’s dress for luck.  Try that now and I wouldn’t be surprised if it wasn’t the Guest who got cut!  In a twist to doing it the traditional way, I suggest to couples that they do the anniversary dance which is where married couples come on the dance floor & the couple married the longest is the last on the floor.  The couple presents them with her bouquet and it is a wonderful moment for pictures.  This has been a dying tradition for the past few years.
  • Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue: This comes from our not to distant past – the Victorian era.  It was basically meant for luck for the Bride. Something Old: This represents the ties to the bride’s family and her past. Something New: is the life to come with her new husband. Something Borrowed: is an item from someone who has or has had a successful marriage to pass on the “good luck.”  Something Blue: is for faithfulness, loyalty and purity.  Some Brides use this custom & some do not.  It has a lot of meaning behind it but is ultimately superstitious and not needed.


  • Carrying the Bride over the Threshold: This came from Roman times when the Groom was protecting the Bride from evil spirits in the floor that have come to curse the couple as they start their union. Personally, I think this tradition causes more back sprains and hits to head while trying to get the Bride & her huge dress through the door.  But it seems to be the gentlemanly thing to do – I would just be more concerned with my Groom having pinched a nerve before we got to the wedding night!
  • The Wedding Shower: Just how did the tradition start to throw the Bride a party before her wedding?  Most people believe it comes from a legend in Holland where a Bride’s father refused to pay her dowry.  So her friends and family came together to “shower” her with gifts and money so she could marry her love.  It was a tradition that took off evidently.  I really wish I could create one of those traditions where it happens every 10 years you are married.  I could really use some more towels and sheets!
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  • The Honeymoon: In ages past the couple had to literally hide so other tribes could not come reach the Bride before a child was conceived.  This made the marriage super-duper official because no one wanted to raise another man’s child.  Now, couples go on a honeymoon to get over the wedding planning.  They relax and start their marriage off spending time together without the fear of marauding tribes coming to steal the Bride.  Unless you like that kind of thing.  To each his own.
  • The Bachelor Party: This fun night out came from the Romans.  It was the last chance the Groom got to “sew his oats” and for his buddies to feast and toast to him.  It was his last bit of freedom and they partied like it was 1999.  Nice eh?  So throughout the years, we women got in on the fun as well.  Hopefully, no one is sewing their oats one last time!


So, now that you know MOST of these traditions are based on superstitious beliefs against evil spirits and bad luck – you can choose to incorporate them into your wedding or not.  And when you hear Grandma whisper that you should not wear red on your wedding day, just tell her at least she doesn’t need to be afraid you will be carried off by evil spirits, fairies or demons.  That should shut her up.  :0)

Here’s to Bliss!


How Diamond Engagement Rings Became the Biggest Scam in the Wedding Industry


Ah, the diamond ring: the pinnacle of what every woman expects when the love of their life pops the question.  Woe is the man who dares to defy tradition by buying a small one or worse yet – NOT A DIAMOND AT ALL!

Does that really happen?

Does the man live through the proposal?

Seriously, what Bride could ever expect to start a successful marriage without a diamond ring worth AT LEAST 2 months salary.  Pshaw – everyone knows that’s the rule.

What if I told you this was one of the most successful marketing campaigns – like ever!  There is no tradition connected to the diamond ring.  No rule (note: there are no wedding police out there.  You really can do what you want) saying it has to be a diamond or (GASP!) no ring at all.

In 1938 the De Beers Diamond Company crafted (in my humble opinion) the world’s most effective marketing campaign.  They grew their company from nothing into one of the most profitable businesses by making people BELIEVE and have an EMOTIONAL CONNECTION to their made-up “A Diamond is forever” campaign.  So much so, it has persisted through the past 2 centuries!  Not too shabby De Beers.

Here’s the lowdown on the claims of De Beers:

~ A diamond is forever: well, yeah, I guess if you take care of it.  It will certainly be something you can pass on (if your marriage survives) and you want an heirloom – but that’s about it.  It doesn’t mean that your marriage will last forever (ask 50% of people over the past couple hundred of years).  Also, I might add that it could be said the same of any other rings or jewelry. No real benefit to a diamond over others.

~ It should be AT LEAST 2 months salary: to this, I politely call bull hockey.  Another arbitrary rule made up by the De Beers people to get you to buy more of their diamonds.  And if you are a Bride who expects this or is ready to “Ring Shame” your love, SHAME ON YOU! The size of the diamond does not measure the love or respect he has for you.  That reminds me of something else – hmmmmmmm….

~ A Diamond Ring is an investment: another bull hockey statement.  Very similar to a car, your “investment” loses 50% just by walking out the door. (Kind of like divorces are – buh dum bum.  Thanks every body, I’m here all week). This is not a true statement.  You will never get all the money out of it that you spent on it.  Just try it & you will see.

~ It has to be a certain cut or clarity to be the best diamond: ultimately, that decision is up to you.  You may not like the really clear ones, or emerald cut or the ones that go “BING!”  Seriously, this is yet another way the De Beers company has got you feeling like you have purchased a rare, high quality diamond, that will be a huge asset for your marriage – WRONG.

Look, diamonds or jewelry are just like people.  There are all kinds of shapes, sizes, colors and depending on their personality – clarity.  I have had many a Bride tell me they hate diamonds but their finance got them one because “he had too”.  Nothing could be further than the truth.  If you feel like you want a ring (and I get it, what woman wouldn’t?), then look around.  There are all kinds of them out there.  Get your birthstone, a precious gem, black gold, a simple band, whatever appeals to you.  If I were to get married again I would ask my husband to go to Pandora.  Their rings are awesome & will not make him take a mortgage out BEFORE the wedding.

If you are reading this and are saying to yourself, “I don’t care what she says, I want a diamond – a big one.  I deserve it and he better get the one I like or I’ll kick him to the curb”. You just might want to adjust that attitude or he might just kick YOU to the curb.

I am not anti-diamond.  I have one on my finger in fact & love it.  However, what I DO HATE is the fact that there is NO RULE saying you have to get a diamond and that you have to spend thousands on it for you to be respected. People save for years and wait to get married because of this lie and that makes me mad.  We have all fallen for it for years.  But now you have the knowledge – the power to make your OWN decisions instead of following a 79 year old marketing campaign that was devastatingly effective.

The truth is, the success of your engagement and marriage depends on you.  What the two of you put into it and how you work together.  The ring is nothing in comparison.

Here’s to Bliss!



Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Hatfield

It was a Disney spectacular wedding at the Legacy Barn this past weekend.  Alycia LOVES everything Disney and it showed, complete with the Grape soda bottled cap from UP on the Groom’s Boutonniere.  The vendors were Shoup’s Catering, Extreme Sound Mobile DJs, and The Groom’s mom made the cake.  This couple was a lot of fun and that was evident by their decor and family partying the night away.  Congrats and thanks for honoring us with your wedding at the Legacy Barn!


Congratulations Mr. & Mrs. King!

Dana and Andrew had a beautiful wedding last week.  The rain stayed away and the sun was shinning!  Thanks to the great vendors: The Local BBQ, Carita Davoli Photography, and Nate Davoli DJ.  The couple chose a cookie buffet instead of a traditional wedding cake & the Local BBQ provided a delicious buffet as well as loaded nachos and cinnamon rolls as a late night snack.  Thank you for allowing us to be a part of your beautiful day!

What NOT to do as a Bride

yelling bride

Congratulations!  He popped the question and you said YES.  For some women, at the very moment he slips that ring on her finger, they turn into a nervous, stressed, and sometimes, mean person who their family & friends have never seen before.

Why does this happen?

If you consider that most women have dreamt of this moment since they were 5 years old, you come to realize that a lot of time, planning and emotion have already been spent trying to make this moment perfect.  Wedding Planning often makes laid-back and usually easy-going women crazy and neurotic.

So, how do you get through one of the most incredible, but often overwhelming, times in your life, while keeping your family & friends?  By NOT doing the following things:

1. Do NOT be mean or rude – This is should be very obvious, but unfortunately it is not. Stress can make you turn ugly and trust me, no one likes a stressed Bride.  Remember, no matter what happens, at the end of the day, you will be married to the love of your life.  It doesn’t matter if it rains, the cake wasn’t what you expected, or your weird Uncle Eddy got drunk and hit on every girl above 20.  YOU WILL BE MARRIED!

2. Do NOT emulate Bridezillas – Seriously.  If you fancy yourself a Bridezilla, you have to stop and reevaluate your attitude.  Most Bridezillas (in my humble opinion) need a spanking & then therapy – a lot of therapy.  Why do some Brides feel it is their right to be an adult toddler just because it is their wedding?  I haven’t figured that out, but I have seen it and it is NOT PRETTY.

3. Do NOT assume the wedding is all about you – of course it isn’t! Remember that really cute guy who gave you that ring?  Its about him too!  Oh, and your families who helped you get where you are.  Look, a wedding is about love and the joining of families.  To think it is all about the Bride is arrogant and just plain wrong.

4. Do NOT pick dresses that are outrageously expensive or that don’t look good on every body type – Your Bridesmaids will most likely never wear this dress again.  BE KIND.  Not just to their pocket book, but to their body type. If I had to wear a dress that was made for a 5’9 model who only eats broccoli, I would be screwed. Give them options.  Get a dress that comes in several different styles.  Let them add sleeves if you want.  Honestly, the focus will not be on them (unless you make it so by putting a 5’3, 200 lb woman in a dress made for Angelina Jolie).  Also, choose a color shoe & let them get their own.  They will be more comfortable & they will love you for it.

5. Do NOT abuse your vendors – This is a big one.  Your lack of planning does not constitute an emergency on their part & if you are a personality type who LOVES to worry & stress, don’t expect the vendors to react well to that.  We event professionals LOVE to help you have a beautiful wedding.  Most of us are very good at it. We are not out to make millions off of you.  We like to make enough to feed our families, pay for school books, or maybe take a vacation once every 5 years.  Please speak nicely to us, don’t patronize us & for the love of God, do not try to do our jobs. Our goal is to exceed your expectation, but if you are constantly changing those, it’s really hard to hit a moving target.  Do your research, hire good, reputable vendors and you will be great.

6.  Do NOT try to ruin a vendors career if they didn’t provide the services you paid for – If you are unhappy, talk to them.  Perfection is rarely attained.  Mistakes happen, but that is just what they are – MISTAKES.  If you cannot get rectification by working with the vendor, go to the BBB or take them to court.  Remember, while you may be angry – it is not right to slander anyone on social media.  That is all too common these days and it is so wrong.  Not only that, you could be sued and you will most likely lose.  Be an adult and try to get it corrected yourself.  If that doesn’t work – take them to court.

7.  Don’t get drunk – Seriously, hard to find something any more unattractive than a Bride that is wasted.  It might be funny for a few minutes, but that gets old – and embarrassing quick. Trust me, you don’t want that to be what everyone remembers from your wedding.

8.  Do NOT forget to be grateful – Everyone works hard putting a wedding together.  Make sure you let your family know how grateful you are for their help, financial contribution and support.  It takes a village to raise a child – so thank them!!

A wedding is a joyous thing.  Forget about the small things.  They are nice, but not the focus of the day.  Who cares if your pinterest idea fell apart?  Trust me, no one else does.  They are there to celebrate the beginning of your new life.  Enjoy that.  Soak it all in and you will have memories that last a lifetime.


Introducing “The Local BBQ!”

Local BBQ

The Legacy Barn is pleased to announce that is is partnering with The Local BBQ, Kokomo’s first & only Food Truck.  However, that’s not what makes them so awesome.  They are a local Farm to Fork caterer and their food is to DIE FOR!

Proprietors are Matt & Mary Kate Wyatt and this is their passion.  You can tell in every bite.  Let Me say, Colin & I have tasted pulled pork and lots of it!  Everyone locally does a great job at it.  But let me tell you – this pork is the bomb.  They offer several different sandwiches, loaded mac and cheese, cole slaw, potato salad (my favorite), sweet potato casserole and the Legacy roll, a 5 generation cinnamon roll recipe with candied bacon on top.  Getting hungry????

chad local bbq

Chad, taking one for the team….

What I think is really cool about this is that they can serve out of the food truck onsite or do traditional catering.  Something unique which is very popular for weddings these days.

We are thrilled at the Legacy Barn to be able to offer our clients this unique option. Feel free to get in touch with them or check them out when they are “out & about” Kokomo (Thursdays through Sundays and at all major Kokomo Festivals). Check out their website for more information www.TheLocalBBQ.com .  They are also available on Facebook, twitter, Instagram, and snapchat all under THE LOCAL BBQ.


local bbq2

Now Introducing our Weekday Wedding Package!

The Legacy Barn is proud to announce our brand new “Weekday Wedding Package.”

This package is designed for couples who have more flexibility and choose to hold their wedding between Monday and Thursday during the week.

The following is what is included in the package:

  • 3 hours the day before (Monday – Thursday) for decorating and a rehearsal.
  • Arrive as early as 8:00 am on your wedding day.
  • Guests leave by 11:00 pm.
  • The services of Blissfully Simple Events for a “Day Of Directing” wedding planning/coordination package.  Set up and tear down all done for you! See package details HERE

You get all of the amenities, services and accommadations as with the Signature Barn Experience Package. 

The cost for this package is just $3,250!

We are thrilled to be able to offer this package.  Let us know if you are interested and we can schedule a tour!

765-863-1222; legacybarn@gmail.com



A very happy birthday to our fearless leader, COLIN CRAIG!!!  Without him and his incredible vision, we would not have this wonderful Legacy Barn to share with others.  Help us wish him a happy birthday to him on Facebook.  Let him know how much we appreciate him.


Your loving staff, family, & friends